First of all I’d like to say these are my opinions on the subject and im not looking to debate comic book theory. Feel free to hate me afterward but I’m not going to change my opininion on these guys.
Batman exists solely due to the fact he was born into a privileged family. Was his life screwed up, absolutly but so are plenty of people’s in Gotham however they dont have the capital to put on a cape and go galavanting through the streets. As I have said many a time. Had Bruce Wayne been born to a poor family odds are he would be working at a RadioShack in downtown Gotham crying to his coworkers about his dead parents. In my own opinion the true hero of the Batman story is Alfred for putting up with Bruce Waynes eccentric building projects of Howard Hughesian proportions and the bizarre man/boy love dynamic of bruce and his young ward . This leads me to my number 2.
Batman Robin exists solely due to the fact he was born adopted into a privileged family. Was his life screwed up, absolutly but so are plenty of people’s in Gotham however they dont have the capital to put on a cape and go galavanting through the streets. As I have said many a time. Had Bruce Wayne Dick Grayson been born adopted into a poor family odds are he would be working at a RadioShack in downtown Gotham crying to his coworkers about his dead parents. In my own opinion the true hero of the Batman story is Alfred for putting up with Bruce Waynes eccentric building projects of Howard Hughesian proportions and the bizarre man/boy love dynamic of bruce Dick and his young ward Bruce . Same character same story, boring. And come on I know it was written in the 40s but why name him Dick. Really?
Because Aquaman. Stupid powers and in my opinion is only interesting to kids who dream of being oceanographers. And because he is completely indistinguishable from Mermaid man to my wife. Which is obnoxious. Not Mermaid Mans fault… damn it, I mean Aquamans fault but still it isnt helping his cause.
Scott Summers, yuck even his name is as bland as school paste. He is the proverbial Ken doll of the X-Men complete with smooth plasticy genitalia.
5. Everyone employed at the Daily Planet
Come on guys its Superman in glasses, really. I cant hide from people by wearing glasses, no, I just get “Hey Billy, whats with the glasses?”
Overly complicated first name, oddly spelled last name. And as far as I am concerned her presence has little or no bearing the outcome of any fight The X-Men have ever been in.
7. Harley Quinn
Sadly enough as a character I love Harley but since the current DC/Harley Quinn fiasco I am sick of her. And in the world of fan art it’s all anyone can draw. Im just bored with her for now.
8. Peter Parker
I love Spiderman, but peter parker is as whiny and obnoxious as Bruce Wayne. However he is actually a superhero not just a super-guy-with-shiny-gadgets-and-pedo-undertones.
9. Peter Parkers Boss
AKA John Jonah Jameson, Jr. What a dick! Cut the kid some slack, hes pretty much the only one getting the goods on Spidey. Lay off the guy and give him a raise.
10. The Hulk
Bruce Banner , David Banner or whatever hez called this week. Is he a good guy or a bad guy? I’ve never had more trouble figuring out a guy in my life. Just when I think hes a good guy he starts whooping up on another hero. Then when he’s completely destroyed my opinion of him he goes and fully redeems himself by doing something selfless. This isn’t even taking into consideration the countless horrible shows and movies that have been made about him. Makes me want to HULK SMASH!
With that being said I would llike to point out the characters I love, and why.
The first really decent black protagonist who wasnt called, like, black thunder or black tornado or black panther. He has awsome powers and a pretty great storyline. Not tomention he was the first true anti-hero in my opinion.
2 . Cable
Super strong, telepathic, time traveling, half robotic badass with a little baby straped to his chest. Why is he awesome. Kicks ass, takes names, and changes diapers!
3. The characters of bone.
If you havent read it go read it. I love it. You will too.
4. The Joker
There hasent been a comic or movie made featuring the Joker that wasn’t awesome, he can be silly or evil and it works. By and large my favorite villain ever written by any writer comic or movie.
Silky smooth badass who uses playing cards as weopons. This is the first definition of a cool hero.
Because wolverine. Love him or hate him he carried the X-Men. As far as im concerned the marvel universe wouldnt be as popular as it is today with out him.
7. The entire cast of the Watchmen
If you haven’t read it, do. If you haven’t seen the movie, do. That is all.
Lets face it Superman is the definition of a hero. And Quentin Tarentino was right he is the only super hero whos alter ego is a mortal. An infinately deep character ( disguise issues not with standing) and the first character to stand the test of time.
Funny, weird , wired.
10. Calvin and Hobbes
I know its not typical comic fare, but it really was what started my love for comics way back when. Go get a collection from the library, read it and tell me it wasnt an amazing comic. It featured the exploits of a little boy and his stuffed tiger that any kid could relate to and any adult can remember being like. It also mixed very typical comic art in several strips.
Well I hope I haven’t offended you but im sure I may have. If you found this enjoyable, funny, or infuriating feel free to share it or to comment below!